December 2010
41 posts
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Some days I want to move into a cabin in the woods and tend a garden and write and paint and make music and frolic in a field and build a fire at night when it gets cold.
Other days I want to move to New York and fight the city everyday and use my blackberry and tumblr and facebook and pretend I don’t feel alone.
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“It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines who...”
– Oscar Wilde
November 2010
30 posts
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Infatuation is the drunkest part of love. I think we’re even now.
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“I voluntarily inflicted a certain level of insanity on myself.”
– Jonathen Franzen
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Here’s the thing. My life is going to come to an end and it’s going to happen sooner than any of us think because life feels long when you’re living it. (I showed up early on three separate occasions today, which means for approximately 30 minutes today I sat in spaces that weren’t ready for me and lived in a way that felt long and unnecessary.) But the world will still be...
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“The old tricks have been exploded, and I think the language needs to find new...”
– David Foster Wallace
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It's a new day.
Talk yourself down from the ledge. The people who do this are the ones worth knowing. They are the self-aware ones with interesting stories to tell. The ones that find themselves out on the ledge every day, but manage to get themselves back inside. Sometimes they will do it heroically and they’ll begin jogging away from the ledge and into all of the possibilities of living. Other days they...
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Aren’t we all just saying the same thing over and over again? “Please love me as much as I love you.”
“I wonder which is preferable — to walk around all your life swollen up with your...”
– Margaret Atwood (via suzywire)
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“I don’t know how to answer. I know what I think, but words in the head are...”
– Jeanette Winterson
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When to See You Again
“I’m writing our love story,” she said.
“Are we in love,” he asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” she said.
“Doesn’t sound like much of a love story,” he said.
“Well, I think we’ll be caught up in a lot of love,” she said.
“Are you sure you’re not mistaking sex for love,” he asked.
“Yeah, I...
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The Actual Source
There was something sunken about her. It wasn’t her posture or the black Lycra two-piece that covered her wrist to ankle, it was more the way her fine dark grey hair fell and the way her face was evidently lived in and the way she peered out at you, never quite focusing on one thing in particular. I should have expected that the title “legend” would be accompanied by age.
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“There are people from whom we do not recover, experiences into which we try to...”
– Elizabeth Gumport
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“Every word of your letter fell into my ears with the silvery plank of total...”
– Alice Sheldon to Ursula LeGuin
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Sheet Therapy
“I think I could just go to sleep forever.”
“I think that’s called dying.”
“No, it’s more like preserving. Like, the world and I are having a rough go of it at the moment. We could really use a break. So I’ll go to sleep and when life is ready for me, I’ll be well rested.”
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“You are one of the most remarkable, exceptional and inspiring people I know.”
Upon receiving such a compliment, my first thought is, “I wish it were true” and then I usually feel very valiant for a moment and say to myself, “I’ll make it true” and then I return to focusing most of my time and energy on being warm and hidden, but I’ll smile when...
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“I think you and I have an agreement that you’ll put up with me being lost...”
– Penelope Trunk
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In which it was the first snowfall.
Sometimes it rains and I cannot sleep. I close my eyes and listen intently to the rain, but also, the clanking radiator, but also, my own breath in and out. I wait for it to all be rearranged and then I know I’m dreaming. Which is to say: sleeping.
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“Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.”
– Ovid
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All I've got is questions, baby.
What gets us from this bed to the next one? What if it is only ever this bed? Why does my love have an expiration date or a not-suitable-at-this-time date? Why does everything hurt? Why can’t I fuck you as much as I want to? Why won’t my body and mind be all that they should be? Why do I only have questions? What would we do if we were in love? Who are we allowed to love? What does it...
